I’ve been tagged by Vera, that annoying lady who doesn’t know I’ve got exams next week. I’ll do it anyway — anything for Miss Green :D.

  1. Shaving:

    I don’t shave under my arms — I pull all the hair out. I also love plucking out my eyebrows and eyelashes. I’ve plucked my brows clean before. Pulling out my beard is a lot more painful so I do it rarely — mostly before a shave.

  2. Women:

    I prefer them all natural — no makeup, except maybe lipgloss. I also hate high heels and anything that reveals skin wantonly — full-length gowns are the best. I don’t like women who’re taller or almost as tall as I am — I’m over six feet so I hardly meet them. I like women who’re not too ‘endowed’ — I’m totally for near-flatness, which is why I’m attracted mostly to Asians. Allows me to love the person for who she is, not her body.

  3. Books:

    I’m infatuated with reading and books. I rarely go anywhere without a book. I read in the bathroom, while eating, even when I’m coding! In secondary school I perfected the art of walking and reading without bumping into anyone until someone told me I looked like I was crazy or trying to show off.

    I also read faster than almost anyone I’ve met and accelerate as I get more engrossed. People who know me know that to get my attention, they have to seize the book or place a hand over it. I spend almost all my earnings on books and still call home to find out if my books are ‘okay.’

  4. Dumbness:

    I love pretending to be dumb in the figurative and literal sense of the word. I try to get by each day saying as little as possible, and intentionally come off as stupid. When communicating with people who ‘know’ I’m ‘dumb’ (figurative), I unload an avalanche of words from my extensive vocabulary. The better to overwhelm them with.

  5. God:

    I’ve formed my very own perception of who God is. It goes against what most people think, which is why my Facebook profile lists my religious views as ‘convoluted.’ If you ask nicely, I just might discuss it in my very next post.

  6. Dreams:

    I dream in code sometimes. Kind of hard to explain — you know how hard it is to explain those dreams you get when you’re ill? Or am I the only one who has them?

There! I’m done. You may now declare me weird, but who isn’t? ๐Ÿ’ก

Here’s to Chxta, Afropinay and Mari. I shall not suffer alone!


  1. biodun says:

    Yes Azuka ur a weirdo!! You love flat chested women ehn,
    O ya go shave now!!!

  2. Keshi says:

    that brow-pulling is weird indeed! ๐Ÿ™‚


  3. Calabar Gal says:

    LOL at not suffering alone!! I am not joining you guys in this meme thing no matter what anyone says!!

    LOL at pulling ur eyebrows out. Wouldlove to see u ‘eyebrowless’ (LOL) Pulling our ur underarm hair is akin to sadism albeit to urself!!

    How can u expect ur babe to go makeup less and with full length gowns all the time? Dat one don pass deeper life oh!! Oh Azuka – LOL at pretending to be dumb!! I know a couple of people who do that. Hubby included!! Then they show you that they’re onto ur game and you end up being the fool. He carries a book to the toilet and everywhere he goes too.

    I hereby declare you a SWEET WEIRDO!!

  4. uzo says:

    You like near flat women? And you have plucked off all your eyebrows? Weird…

  5. Azuka says:

    Uzo, Biodun
    Well, that’s just me. I think big rears and busts look disgusting. I plucked out all my eyebrows when I was 10, so there was plenty of time to grow it back.

    You get to list at least five things about you that others find weird.

    Well, as you say… ๐Ÿ˜€

    Calabar Gal
    That’s just my preference. I don’t like seeing girls with all their ‘goods’ on display.

    I feel natural beauty surpasses the one achieved through makeup. When I told my mom I prefer seeing her without makeup she told me,”I’m not your wife. When you get married you can tell your wife what to do.”

    Sweet? Thanks :oops:.

  6. mari says:

    I know what you are up to! Tagging me so I update my blog abi. Well, I cant promise I’ll do the tag asap but I’ll try over the weekend. I don’t think I am weird sha so this is gonna be very hard. Thanks alot!!!

    I like women whoโ€™re not too โ€˜endowedโ€™ โ€” Iโ€™m totally for near-flatness, which is why Iโ€™m attracted mostly to Asians…. ๐Ÿ™‚

  7. Vera Ezimora says:

    Azuka, you’re making me cry. You pull out the hair under ur arms??? Oh my gosh! I’m cringing @ the thought of how painful that might be.


    I don’t shave because I’m too afraid of the blade, but I use hair-removal lotion and a bladeless razor. Works like magic!

    And as 4 not wanting endowed women, you must be high. Wait till I see you. I will force myself on you. *singing*… and you, and you, and you, you’re gonna love me….! *end of singing*

  8. Vera Ezimora says:

    And why the time stamp on my comment wrong? It says I left a comment @ 8:33pm, but it’s only 1:34pm. Mind ur self o!

  9. Vera Ezimora says:

    Shoot! I meant to say, “why is the time stamp…” The ‘the’ is missing. Just had to clarify that.

    Yes, I know it’s crazy that I’m leaving 3 comments back 2 back, but whatever!!

  10. Azuka says:

    I see you’re laughing about my oriental fixation. I still get attracted to Africans and Caucasians who’re flat, but it appears to be more common among Asians. Your friend Afropinay always teases me about ‘getting me a Chinko babe’ whatever that means.

    The comments you’ve been leaving have not You might want to watch the url you fill in next time — I’ve been changing it for you.

    Vera, Vera, Vera,
    I started pulling the hairs when they first appeared.

    Force yourself on me? We shall see. Most likely you’ll achieve nothing except getting a spanking from me. The nerve!

    The server on which my site is hosted is in Germany so we’re looking at German time here. You seem to be crazy about correcting mistakes…

  11. Naijabloke says:

    Pulling hairs out of ur armpits,eyebrows and beard … Nna dat one pass wierd man … hope u dont eat it after pulling them out sha..
    and u love flat-chested women …(making a mental note of smuggling u into a black strip club when I see u) what r u doin on this side of the world cos I know the 3rd generation asian females have started developing boobies and asses.I think u need to move ur ass to singapore or smwhere like that.

    U have a nice weekend

  12. Azuka says:

    Eat hair? Even I would consider that weird…

    What am I going to do in a black strip club? Look at ‘phat ghetto booties’? I think I’ll puke if I see so many globs of fat on display.

    As for the Asian females developing, yeah I noticed there’s been a greater incidence of transplants. Why can’t people like this lady featured on Bella Naija realize that there’ll always be guys like me who appreciate them? ๐Ÿ˜›

  13. Naija Dude! says:

    LOL…I bet I can declare you a weirdo, but ppl said it already.

    Thanks for the comment man! But I kinda neep your help oh, computer related sha!

  14. everchange says:

    this is funny. but be careful expecting a woman to wear long dresses and cover all skin!

  15. Azuka says:

    Naija Dude!
    Everyone’s really weird deep down. We just don’t admit it — of course there’s a lot I can’t divulge here. I sent you an e-mail asking about the ‘computer problem.’ Did you get it?

    Okay, that’s extreme, but I don’t actually expect a woman to wear full-length gowns. It just disgusts me when I see all these ladies with everything on display.

    People I would otherwise have respected come off as loose when they dress that way.

    I was actually thinking of Celine Dion when I talked about long dresses. She wears them but that doesn’t make her any less cute.

    I still owe you a post talking about my misogynist wishes…

  16. wow, to each his own INDEED…………

    but then again, i’m from the generation of new russians that happily embraced corrupt capitalism… and thus anything shiny, fast, expensive, or otherwise attractive… so i guess i’ll just never truly understand…

    oh well, as long as everyone’s happy where they are….

  17. Afropinay says:

    Buhahhaa. Azuka.. this post killed me.. too funny..Ive been really busy my blogging spree has lessened.

    You just watch.. Im screening all the chinko babes oh.. I met some over the weekend and come and see dancing with flat ass.. incredible..;);) and dont mind them jare, its just the same way I am obsessed with eskimos.

    As per the tag thing, I’ll do it when Im tired of too many spreadsheets full of urls.

    Perfectly normal to me so kosi wahala.

  18. Azuka says:

    Moved on to join the greedy capitalists, eh?

    You’re alive! Thanks goodness!

    I was considering scrambling a team to lift you out of Shanghai, where you are no doubt being tortured by Microsoft Excel.

    Sounds like a dance I oughtn’t to have missed. You should be here in the US, probably in Alaska getting your fill of eskimoes while I’m in Shanghai. Life’s not fair! ๐Ÿ˜ก

  19. dessy says:

    Gosh! I wrote a long post and clicked submit without verifying the codes and now it’s all gone! I’m mad!

    Anyway, Azuka, the only reason you are fixated with flat chested Asians is because you are yet to see my brown robust mammary glands that stand at attenshion. My dear, once you do, you will forget about those flat chested girls. I mean, you will scream: Hossanah to the most high!

    Why are you taken by surprise over Azuka’s weirdness? I mean, for a man who plucks his own armpit hair out, he could have had his own death all planned out.


  20. Azuka says:

    No, I didn’t say FLAT — I meant SMALL, when I said NEAR-FLAT.

    What the… now my head is filled with pictures of ‘brown robust mammary glands standing at attention.’ But e no go work sha.

    Why are you and Vera doing some advertising? Scared that if a lot of guys begin to think like me you’ll be off the market?

    When I say I pull out my underarm hair [I don’t know why armpit sounds so crude to me], I meant that I’ve never allowed it to grow into the bush you’re thinking about. I started pulling them out when the first strands appeared, and have kept right on, so it’s not as painful as you think.

    Err, sorry about the missing post. I’ll take a look at having the posts remain in the textarea even without validating.

  21. Vickii says:

    Very interesting … I think everyone on blogger should have to do this post, you learn lots of interesting things that wouldn’t otherwise be revealed.

    Good luck in your exams!

  22. mari says:

    this is why i have you ๐Ÿ™‚ cheers for the correction.

  23. candy says:

    waaaaaaat! u need to see a counsellor.isnt it funny to hear u say tha u like–yuk! cant even say d statement.
    wen men get jealous of er kids feedin on er wives’thang. weird is nat d word 4 u.
    my jeeez, where dyu think u ll eva see gurls in tha place not showin off er melons nd “hot,sexy legs”?
    uhn azuka, azuka, azuka, beta run back 2 naija
    enuff “mary-amakas” thr for u. hurry, b4 thy get sold out.

  24. candy says:

    nd mind u celine dion also adorns short, skimpy gowns ooo. whr didyu get ur info from?
    xcpt i got u wrng. hw dyu look eyebrowless?

  25. Azuka says:

    Funny to hear you talking about melons. Take your time oh! Who’s Mary Amaka? Why should I get jealous of a baby feeding?

    I know Celine Dion sometimes wears skimpy stuff, and she’s revealed a bra at a concert before, but she does tend to favor the long stuff which I like.

    Eyebrowless? That happened when I was 10. It hasn’t happened again.

  26. temmy tayo says:

    I have concluded you should be nominated for the award for weirdo of the year!

    Pluck hair out????
    And rh blog about what you think of GOD.

  27. this is very interesting. thanks for this

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