I’m sitting here in front of my computer, typing this and there’s a joy in me I cannot express. Somehow, today at 12:22AM I crawled out of bed and tapped a key to dispel my Rush Hour 2 screensaver.

I shielded my eyes from the screen as I adjusted to the light. Everything looked new, and I realized the change was in me.

I did something I haven’t done for a while — turned on Christian music and relaxed. It was so soothing, my taut muscles relaxed and I sang along to the voices of Don Moen, Bob Fitts and Ron Kenoly. I’d have loved to record myself and post here but I have a croaky, ‘froggy’ voice.

There comes a time in my life when I stop, look back and realize how stupid I’ve been — making idle boasts, chasing money furiously and looking down on people. The desire for money has consumed me to the extent that I no longer talk to my family — it’s been long since my mom heard from me –, rush blindly at every job I think I ought to get, without wanting to take on the high-profile ones that require the most effort, and do some unmentionables.

I’m alive, my spirit ha awakened within me and I see new horizons. I’m going to get myself organized and not act brusquely with people counting on me.

Yes, there’s an awakening of Azuka.