Ethnicity

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A Yoruba Man was sitting with an Ibo man and a Hausa man in Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled barrel of beer, when all of a sudden the police entered and arrested them. They were initially given a death sentence but, as it was a national holiday, the sheikh decided they should be released after each receiving 20 lashes of the whip.

As they were preparing for their punishment, the sheikh said, “It’s my first wife’s birthday today and she asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping, but you cannot wish not to be whipped!”

The Hausa man thought for a second then said: “Please tie a pillow to my back before whipping.” This was done but the pillow lasted 10 lashes.

The Ibo man saw this and said: “Please tie two pillows to my back before whipping.” This was done and lasted for the whole 20 lashes.

The Yoruba Man saw this, but before he could make his wish, the sheikh said: “As you share the same ethnicity with the president of your country, you are permitted to have two wishes!”

The Yoruba Man thought for a second, then said: “Thank you, most royal and merciful highness. My first wish is to receive 100 lashes with the strongest, toughest whip available.”
“If you so desire,” the sheikh replied with a questioning look on his face, “and your second wish?”

“Tie the Ibo man to my back.”

Credits: Lifted from http://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-1713.0.html

Goings On

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I’m becoming a bit frustrated. I don’t know what to do nowadays. I’m running out of cash but I don’t want my Dad to know. I’m really, really hoping I get a scholarship — I need the cash to buy some more food mainly

I’m still adapting to American food but I survive mostly on microwave-able food — pasta, noodles and rice. I hope I don’t get tired of them — or I’ll simply starve.

Concerning my 20-page research paper for Professor Teets, it’s coming along fine — I should be through before this week runs out.

I’m waiting for the databse schema for ExamDirect from my boss. I hope he has it ready today. Gotta go to bed.

MTN Clone

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I was recently told by my former boss from CADS Consulting to collaborate with him on an educational project he got. He’s new to PHP and wants to make a PHP version of what he has already [we wrote it together in Asp.NET].

The project is sponsored by MTN Nigeria so I had to come up with a suitable clone that displays similarly across all browsers [they’re deploying on Linux].

I think I’ve done beautifully and for once commend myself on my work. I intend to make it an Ajax system for speed. Since it supports themes, I made the theme structure very very similar — it just switches a particular stylesheet for colours.

Internet Explorer as usual has a bug — the bottom background of the page doesn’t change (except you minimise the window and restore it). I wish someone would give Microsoft a lesson in browser design.

The current prototype (just design) can be found at the Demo page. You can change the theme by using the dropdown list on the left. I have another minor problem — the MTN  Logo doesn’t  fit well with the green and blue backgrounds. I also haven’t added Previous, Next and Bookmark buttons on the left.

The menus, like all menus I use are pure css (IE needs a little javascript jogging to make them work unlike all other browsers) — it’s made up of lists so unlike the ones on the MTN site, it is search-engine-crawlable.

The ‘Azuka’ Stare

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I’ve come to discover various ways of looking at people because I love studying people.

When I’m talking with someone and I suspect some falsehood in what he just said I look directly into his eyes without answering. More likely than not he gives himself away and ends up spilling everything out.

I study ladies only when they’re not looking at me for obvious reasons. Looking too much at someone of the opposte sex is almost always construed as interest — I always try to avoid this. From one of my self-studies I discovered I even carry this paranoia over to people who know I’ll never get interested in them. It is because of this — and the fact that I’m very quiet — some people think I’m shy.

Sometimes I put emotion into my eyes. I speak very very quietly, and there’s no frown on my face — yet the other person knows I’m very very angry. It is at such times I try to prevent the devil in me from breaking out. When it does, I always regret the effects.

Sometimes I break my rule of not looking into females’ eyes when I’m talking to them. This comes at times I want to show I’m confident — or when I have a crush. The eyes are the most important part of the opposite sex to me. I love beautiful soft eyes…

C++ Here I come

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I’ve always shied away from programming in C++ because it was a bit tough. I’ve decided to return to it, starting from this week. Not that I don’t understand it but I’m terribly scared of pointers — the main reason I didn’t want to learn C.

I got three books on C++ from my school library. I leafed through them and they were real good. I’ll be using the MingW IDE and Bloodshed DevC++ alternately.

I now this time, I’m ready for that crazy language. Watch out C++ — here I come!

Achievements

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What did I achieve last month?

I was able to speed up my game in ping pong and switched to the pen grip last Wednesday. Seems I’m really good at it.

Made a difference in my workplace by being Employee of The Month. I was more shocked than happy — I didn’t really believe it was me.

Drew up a study time table to overcome my lack of reading. I’m now reading 6 hours a day, everyday including Sunday.

Writing has come back to me again and I’m grateful. I’m a little scared though that all I output relates to murder and madness. I guess it’s because those are my two greatest fears — death and insanity. I don’t really know what else to write about so I’ve started writing about things that have affected me in life — non-fiction.