I’ve never been one to go with the crowd. In my final year of secondary school however, I made an exception — everyone was handing out a slumbook and I followed suit.

I was one of the strictest male prefects in my set — especially to the girls because I reputedly never smiled (I did laugh once when I was on duty in the school dining hall and the whole hall applauded!).

The most common statements that came back were “You’re a Robocop”, “Smile!”, “You’re too quiet” and “You’re a snob.”

The Robocop name was the secret nickname I had among the girls. It had its origins in the way I walked. I disliked the “bouncing steps” the boys were wont to develop and decided on walking erect, lifting my feet straight up and down without swaying or swinging my arms. The result was as rigid as could be and the boys had once called me ‘homo erectus’ — a name that died down when I got into one of my famous tempers with someone who made the mistake of calling me that when I wasn’t in a jovial mood. I’ve always been quiet — still am — and I wasn’t surprised when I saw the references to smiling and being quiet.

More interesting than the entry by a girl a class below mine who had a crush on me telling me she liked me no matter what others said, a table tennis partner telling me to “start talking to human beings”, or the invective-ridden post by a girl who’d gotten in serious trouble with me, were the references by my set girls to being a snob.

Snob? Snob?! Was I a snob?

I examined myself a little biasedly and decided I wasn’t. On doing a more honest study, I decided I might have been one in the past.

When I got into SS1, brimming with desire to be absolutely independent after years of dependence on others, I made a rather rash decision or rather, rash set of decisions. I would talk only when necessary. I would not talk to girls (well, they weren’t important were they? I wouldn’t have talked to boys or teachers if I could but I had to live with them). I would keep everyone at arms length. I would not borrow or take anything from anyone… The list goes on and I still get those moments of shame when I smile embarrassedly to myself and wonder how I could have been that stupid.

I was the guy who walked by people without saying a word. I was the one who made caustic statements when spoken to. (I remember an incident when a girl asked to borrow a textbook. I told her I would be done “soon.” When she asked how soon, I retorted, “That’s my business.” Touché). Boys were mostly okay with me — I could sit in on conversations without talking, although they did try to get me to talk on occasion.

I think I was in my final term of SS1 when I decided to turn a new leaf. I was walking down the corridor once and ran into one of my classmates. When I said a pleasant “Hi” to her, she stood there in shock, mouth open wide with no sound coming out. Of course I was too amused to take offense. I talked football and girls with the guys (I had some experience as a good goalkeeper in primary school for the former, and other experience from unnameable sources for the latter) and the girls in my class (just 5 of them) warmed up to me after I befriended one of them who loved to read and comment on my writing. There was my shyness to deal with, and although I hardly talked, a truce existed.

Unfortunately for me, the legacy had been established and I remained one thing to girls outside my class — snob.

The memory of the snob comments came back to me recently. Like I said before, I don’t talk much and neither does my roommate — sometimes, we communicate for up to three days with only simple gestures until one of us spoils it by asking, “Would you mind if I turn the lights off?”

I walk by a group of people I know but I nod at only the ones whose eyes I catch without saying a word because I know it’ll get me involved in conversation. I nod to my supervisors when I come to work at the library. I lift my eyebrows in a gesture of greeting when I meet fellow Nigerian students. I reply in monotonic, monosyllables when people try to strike up conversations until they simply give up.

…And I wonder… I wonder if somehow, someway, people have not begun to take me to be a snob.

Blogging is all about embarrassing people in the name of saying thanks [satire]. Calabargal and Temmy have subjected me to this time-honored tradition and I thought it would be befitting to do the same to others.

Thanks for the eclairs Biodun.

Thanks for the eclairs Biodun!

I do feel crazy today. Madness setting in perhaps?


  1. Jem says:

    awwwww, but i don’t think you are a snob πŸ™‚

  2. Vera Ezimora says:

    What?! Biodun got you Eclairs too??? How dare she!! Oh, that traitor!!

    So you’re still wondering if you’re a snob ehn? Keep wondering o… *HISS*

    I have a cousin like you. He was fine too and my friends always had crushes on him…but he wouldn’t speak 2 them! They called him a snob too.

    I dunno if he’s still like that. Been a while.

  3. Biodun says:

    @ Vera, u r not serious, lol
    @ Azuka, ur welcome dear, hmmm, I dont think ur a snob but really why dont u like talking, ok ur going 2 make me find ur number somehow jsut to bug to n yeah u better pick up too!

  4. idemili says:

    I must say, when I started blogging, just before I deleted my first post, I took a look at your photos and thought you were a bit…severe. I’m not sure about being a snob though. Then again, I haven’t met you.

    Nice post, as usual.

  5. Calabar Gal says:

    You need to start talking sometime. We want to scrutinise the ladies sooonn……. LOL!!!

  6. aledrop says:

    hey azuka. for once i read a blog. i must say it was worthwhile. ur a great writer.

  7. Boso says:

    What is this Eclairs business. I’m jealous o !!

  8. Azuka says:


    Is your name eclairs? Abeg leave me alone let me enjoy my eclairs jo.

    Speaking of your cousin, is there an implication that girls call guys they like snobs when they won’t talk to them? I know, I’m doing some ego-boosting πŸ˜€

    Really? You won’t find it… and erm, my phone’s down.

    Well, you might want to read this.

    Calabar Gal
    In a while, ma’am. Would ten years from now do?

    Thanks for dropping by, and I appreciate the compliment. Now how can I get you to blog? πŸ˜‰

    Ha ha. Biodun came back from Nigeria with some eclairs and I asked if she wouldn’t mind sending me some.

  9. idemili says:

    Oh, I read that then. LOL

  10. mari says:

    You were just odd!
    Buhahhaha@ Ò€œThatÒ€ℒs my business.Ò€ That was mean sha.

  11. Afropinay says:

    SNOB oshi..*rolls eyes*

    Ironically, people who are called *snobs* are the nicest humans only if you get to understand them better. But sadly, you can’t please everyone.

    Hey Snob!!!! πŸ˜‰


  13. Vickii says:

    Quiet people often seem to be regarded as snobs, for some reason people never think there could possibly be any other reason for someone not to talk to them unless they think they’re superior.

    As long as you and the people you want to know, know that you’re not a snob, that’s all that matters.

  14. Naijabloke says:

    Yes o quiet ppl like me are always refered to as snobs ..LOL dont let it bother u jere …but on a serious note we need to do smth abt the girls thingy o ..

    Take care man

  15. Jem says:

    People just need to get to know ur personality a little more and you in turn should be more warm and willing to meet people/ start conversations etc …. and don’t forget to always smiiiillleeee

  16. Ok, time to confess: I started reading this blog ‘cos you look like one of my friends (and of course also because you left some comments on my blog). Now, I get to find out that you guys share similar traits. The walking without a bounce, being reserved, your personality being thought of as eccentric and generally being misunderstood.

    He is also one of the “bestest” people I know. Good to his word and giving of himself and his resources. Hope you guys share that too.

  17. Akin aworan says:

    Funny you should mention ‘Robocop’. Back at Secondary school, we had a prefect we also called ‘RoboCop’. He was a right punk and half, and I wouldn’t be suprised if he became soldier or a politician. We hated him! πŸ™‚ Not that that’s a reflection of you.

  18. tminx says:

    You are who you are. Does it have to do with being shy as well? What made you make those rules anyway?

  19. Azuka says:


    Yeah, that was quite mean.

    I bought a cane specially for you. I can’t wait to try it out.

    It was quite funny, but God knows what prompted the ‘clapter.’

    Thanks. I needed that. I’ve been down with a pounding headache, hence the silence. I’ll try to combine our writing and send it over.

    And the solution is?

    I’ve always thought my face was ‘normal’ but people say I frown all the time and that I look murderous when I’m truly frowning.

    In my head and around me
    I wouldn’t know about the last part. Answering yes would be blowing my trumpet and no could be being unaware of what I do. Dilemma.

    The Robocop name came only from the way I walked.

    Well, I think I was caught up in a Lone Ranger fantasy…

  20. Mad Hatter says:

    You are not a snob. You are odd. I was a female version of you. I remember the poem at 5 years old…”What are little girls made of …..What are little boys made of…”

    I was the little horror that thought boys were nasty and half humans all through nursery, primary school and early teenage years. I probably mentally scarred some young men’s mind and egos….. I will write about this someday when I start a blog

  21. chidi says:

    ok, dnt know what to say. but i don’t think you are a snob. i don’t know you but this is how i feel

  22. wesleyanA says:

    Hey Azuka!!You probably don’t remember me but hey!! πŸ™‚

    you’re a really cool person. most definitely not a snob.
    like jem said, “people just need to get to know your personality a little more.”
    and in turn, you probably should try to make it easier for people to know you, ’cause people might make wrong assumptions.

    smiling (or just being friendly) definitely helps. esp. if one is a quiet type. People will understand that you’re just quiet and not being snobbish.

  23. Azuka says:

    Mad Hatter
    I always thought you were a guy! So when’s the blog coming up?

    Thanks for the confidence.

    You privacy nut! Where’ve you been hiding? I don’t even see you on AIM.

    Thanks for the comment(s).

  24. Ejura says:

    No need to wonder Azuka.People would most def see you as a snob.LOL @ you and your roommates conversation pattern!
    But if yr blog is anything to go by,you ain’t no snob.You’re either just shy or extremely quiet.

  25. Ejura says:

    Ok I just read ‘say cheese’.I guess there’s a reason for everything.

  26. nyemoni says:

    You my dear, are wierd! πŸ™‚ Read this… roommate Ò€” sometimes, we communicate for up to three days with only simple gestures until one of us spoils it by asking, Ò€œWould you mind if I turn the lights off?Ò€ What? God help…. Anyway, its seriously not so bad to be snooty!

  27. Mad Hatter says:

    Azuka….am androgynous.

    Blog will started when I make up my mind on whom I am

  28. Moments says:

    I think you just must have enjoyed the reactions you got from the way you affected people and decided to go on that way. You must have liked the attention it brought to you without really admitting it :-))

    It must also have been a nice way to hide your shyness and even more hide the fact that even you had a crush or two on one of those girls you never said hello to lolol… now true or false?? don’t lie o!

  29. Buki says:

    I am not a shy or quiet person but when I initially meet people, I am reserved and have been said to be snobbish.

    It doesn’t matter, as long as you know you are not a snob and those that you care about and know are aware of it. (LOL! Vickii said this right?)

    Take care Azuka.

  30. Azuka says:

    Well, it’s people’s business if they want to think whatever they want to — as long as they don’t try to force me to think as they do, I’m cool.

    Ha ha. Na wa for una — there’s bliss in silence sha…

    Mad Hatter
    Sure, anytime you please. I’m sure it’ll be interesting when you do!

    Er, mostly false. Okay true. No, false. TRUE

    Great minds thinking alike?

  31. Moments says:

    Okay Azuka, Best Friends 3 is finally out!! πŸ™‚

  32. Moments says:

    Oya come see the Grand Finale :-))

  33. Moments says:

    Episode 4 is out. Took ur advise on the colours :-))

  34. Keshi says:

    hey Snob hows u? Just kidding πŸ™‚


  35. cameron says:

    your not a snob, your just introverted and theres nothing wrong with it. i can relate to you a little and often feel misunderstood. you should find a book called “the introvert advantage” by marti olsen laney, youll find the answers to everything you talked about and i promise youll feel a lot more comfortable with yourself

  36. wesleyanA says:

    i don’t have aim anymore. I got a new pc a long time ago and haven’t downloaded aim yet. the fact that i lost my password (i saved it on the old pc) doesn’t help either.

    i’m sure i’ll get it before summer ends though.someday, i’ll just get realy bored and decide to do it.

  37. wesleyanA says:

    how have you been?

  38. Azuka says:


    We have an advantage? Yay! πŸ˜€

    Ok… I’ve been here and there — you know how it is…

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