The Calls

I had two important calls yesterday.

For some reason Tracfone doesn’t allow calls to or from Nigeria so my Dad had to bring the entire family to his office to talk with me on Skype. I haven’t heard my mom’s voice in a long, long while and I was happy to catch up with the rest of the family. Christmas preparations are going on full-blast and as my ‘evil’ brothers listed the things they were going to be enjoying, my mouth watered.

My mom is the best cook I know. There’d be fried and jollof rice, pounded yam or starch (one of our Delta staples) and certainly lots and lots of meat and cold malt drinks. Arggggh… I can’t wait until next year.

I’ve become something of a family celebrity — apparently, one of my Dad’s friends saw my interview with Deolu Akinyemi and sent it to him. The whole family’s read it several times :oops:.

If I were home what would I be doing now? It’s 12:00am here, that is 6:00am in Nigeria. I’d be in the kitchen chopping green beans (I am I used to be the fastest cutter). My Dad would probably be looking for something ‘manly’ to pull us away from the kitchen — pulling up the little grass beginning to sprout around the fence for example.

My cousins were as hilarious as ever. My younger brother wants me to send him games. ‘Chief’ (that’s what we call my elder brother) wants a copy of the Kamasutra (I pretended not to understand what he was talking about). I’d ordered a copy of The Da Vinci Code for my parents sometime in November — they still haven’t gotten it. Bukky in her own way didn’t ask for anything. I have to remember to get her something when I return next year. I think I’ll talk to the family next week again.

The second call was to Miss Green Eye. I checked my server logs for the past few days and I’ve been getting strange hits from Google and Yahoo. About 85% of the search terms that ended up on my blog were ‘Vera Ezimora’ and ‘Vera Ezimora pictures.’ What the… is the relationship between Azuka Okuleye and Vera Ezimora? Some poor lovesick dudes seem to be looking for a picture.

I gave her a call, and honestly, I expected to hear one of those Ajegunle voices. I don’t talk much, and only few people like Lee have seen and heard me in one of my extremely rare talkative moods.

I would have started off with something like, ‘this doesn’t sound like someone whose hobby is washing dishes’ but I guess everything flew out of my head. I mumbled a few words, and God bless her, I’d told her before that I don’t talk much.

She has a nice voice, and before you ask, I’m not in the habit of recording voices and playing them over and over again. That makes the first blogger I’ve talked to.

I’m off to bed. Merry Christmas everyone!


  1. Vera Ezimora says:

    Hey Baby!!!

    What?? When?? Where?? Who?? Searching for my pictures ke? Ah! Merry Christmas dear, and thank you for calling…! I was with my best friend, Busola when you called, and she heard your voice. She said, “Who is he – does he like you?”

    I looked @ her like she had lost her mind, and I said, “Like me?? No!!! Azuka is head over heels in love with me!” Glad I cleared that up anyways, 🙂

    So tell me, what is the connection between us? I mean, why does your name pop up next 2 urs, or vice versa? And how do you know this person is searching 4 my pic? Hmmph! Oga o

    You expected 2 hear an Ajegunle voice ke? Oya slap urself for me right now. So I’m the first blogger you’ve called, huh? Mmm. I don’t care what anyone says, Azuka, but I am special, and I hold a special place in your heart. You just don’t know it yet…hehehe.

    Thanks love for calling. You were so quiet, I felt bad sef….cause you know I’m quiet too (*coughs*). You have a wonderful voice too. Unfortunately, I couldn’t play it over & over (since it wasn’t on my voicemail). Better luck next time, right?

    Gosh, is this a ridiculously long comment or wat?

    Merry Christmas!!!!

    *xcuse any typo(s). I don’t care enuff 2 proof read it*

  2. Vera Ezimora says:

    Oh, I forgot to state the fact that

    I AM FIRST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  3. biodun says:

    Hope u had a wonderful christmas? Did u have ur turkey, lol! I should call Vera too, guess that really is her # on her blog.

  4. Azuka says:

    Do I like who? Is it because I talk softly? That’s the same tone I use with everyone so it’s not just you :-P.

    Head over heels in love? I’m just hearing about that now. Actually, I didn’t expect an Ajegunle voice — I expected a “market woman'”s voice.

    As for being first, remember I promised you groundnut. I know you requested cashew nuts but that’s for only special people ;).

    I spent my Christmas sleeping. Actually, the only thing I ate all day was noodles. How did we celebrate our ‘baiday’?

  5. biola says:

    hey love!! merry xmas..happy new yr in advance…. thanks for being a wonderful friend..even though we dont get to chat for a while.. just know ure always remembere.take care..mwahh

  6. temmy tayo says:

    Why didnt you call me ehn? Anyways, glad to know that the family is ace.
    @VERA: you berra call me so I can ”feel” your lovely voice.

  7. Diamond says:

    oh…so you’re one of those that talk softly…
    when i told people HERE, they thought i was joking

    anyways why is everyone calling Vera ehn? why? ok…maybe me too I will call her…or are only guys allowed…

  8. Calabar Gal says:

    Merry Xmas and Best Wishes for the New Year ahead Azuka!! I’m sure u must have felt so elated speaking to ur family and then so homesick after speaking to them. Enough time to plan how u are going to keep ur mouth when demolishing all the delicacies ur mum would have prepared during the festivities next year!!

    You have a smooth velvety voice according to Vera!!! Hmmmn, Na Wa Oh!! LOL!!!

  9. Ik says:

    An overwhelmingly beautiful 2007 to you bro. Have a great day.


  10. Azuka says:

    I’m so so sorry for not keeping in touch. Thanks for being there.

    Temmy tayo
    I don’t have your number, heh heh.

    I still manage to pack my weight, no matter how gently I talk. I just don’t think being loud is cute.

    Calabar Gal
    Thanks so much. How did we celebrate the birthday?

    Next year I plan on shedding all my pounds here before I go over. I don’t want to hold back.

    Smooth, velvety voice. Now who has the crush on whom? My voice is like a frog’s — do you see what infatuation can cause?

    I wish you the same. Thanks for dropping by…

  11. mack says:

    I’ve been reading your posts for a while now. For some reason, you’re able to make even the most blaah topics facinating. I’m not one to care much about people’s lives, but yours (I recomend) would make a bestseller, just by the way you tell it. gustav.

  12. Azuka says:

    I’m blushing! 😳

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