My friends stared at me with this weird look on their faces.
“What?” I asked, puzzled.
They looked at each other.
“You’re eating grass!” one of them exclaimed, pointing at the stalk I’d been chewing on.
All I could offer was a nonplussed “Oh.”
I’ve loved to chew on things for as long as I can remember. Insects, the tender bases of grass stalks, mango leaves, chalk, bones, pens and pencils, paper, plastic wrap, wine corks, paper, can pull tabs, bottle tops and the inside of my mouth have been on my”menu” at some point in my life.
Of these only
the inside of my mouth, insects and bones are actually edible.Everything else draws that curious look from people that I’ve learned to ignore. You haven’t been living the life if you’ve never chewed on a pen at least once.
Recently, I’ve had a preference for plastic bottle tops. I was doing grocery shopping the other day when I caught myself trying to make a decision on what kind of water to buy based on the chewability of their tops.
I prefer Great Value to the slightly pricier Sam’s Choice because of the softer caps. For the same reason, I like the smaller Sam’s Choice bottles because they’re chewier than their bigger cousins — there’s also the added bonus of having two bottle caps to chew on when I drink the same amount of water. Zephyrhills and Deer Park are also fun. Aquafina isn’t.
Yes, I know I’m weird.