Blues

There comes a time in my life when I have to sit down and think — really think — about my life. I suddenly come to realise that things aren’t going the way they’re supposed to. Wait a minute — I know it’s always my fault.

This time I look at myself and what I see isn’t very pretty. I’m out to impress everybody, talk too much, watch too many movies and do some things I’d be too embarassed to write here.

The solution is always simple but the implementation is always difficult — I have to change. I have to give up those novels for a while and start reading my textbooks. I have to give up “over-chatting” and do some more coding and perhaps start keeping more of my promises.

First there’s the client / server app I need to write for my school library. I’m still waiting for the book on tcp/ip programming in .NET I ordered from Amazon. I also need to get back to work on the CMS formerly known as Simplicity – I’m not doing myself any good letting it lie untouched.

Concerning money, I’m fast running out of cash but I don’t want to let my dad know – I’ve given him enough troubles as it is. I have to start generating cash at my own end – which isn’t very easy for an international student. I’ve been cooking noodles for some time now – but how long will that last? I have to get more tolerant of American food even though it’ll make me puke — no offense intended — but I guess it’s just that I’m not used to it.

Finally, my relationship with God has dwindled to something akin to inexistence. This isn’t the way to live. I have to do something about it all. Pray for me will you?

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