‘They said a witch was caught this afternoon close to Garrison,’ my cousin Bukky informed me breathlessly.

Who are they? I wondered. It took me about ten seconds before it registered.

They — that quaint Nigerian way of using the pronoun such that it meant no one, anyone, some people or everyone without any specifics as to what was being said about what.

Apparently, three cats moving in a group had been trying to cross the road. One got hit by a speeding car and turned into a woman in her birthday suit. Evidently, getting her clothes or treating the gash on her face were secondary matters in the minds of onlookers.

‘People gathered and started beating her,’ Bukky was quite excited as she reported the incident. ‘Then two men put her on a bike and took her to the police station. After the police beat her some more, she “confessed” she had come from Abuja on a mission with two other witches to kill some people in Port Harcourt.”

Part of the mission had been completed because they had just one target left.

I think the response she expected wasn’t anything like the look of amusement on my face. I was thinking, ‘This is Nigeria. It’s never boring here,’ and wondering how long it’d been since I heard such a story. Two years and some.

I’ve reported it as they said, and duly done my part in spreading the rumor :-D.
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I’ll be in Port Harcourt till August, learning how to drive, getting used to the heat, and well, trying to fit in. Any PH bloggers interested in meeting up?