Noun
gourmand (plural gourmands)
- a person given to excess in the consumption of food and drink. A greedy or ravenous eater; a glutton.
I’ve been gaining a lot of weight in the past few months and I was beginning to wonder if it had anything to do with my drinking hot chocolate and eating bread in the middle of the night while in front of my computer.
Tonight just before I went to scrub my shoes, I measured the usual quantity of rice I eat into my ‘little’ ceramic bowl, topped it with water and put it in the microwave. When it was done, I decided not to eat from the bowl tonight — instead, I emptied it into one of my dishes.
Was I glad I did!
There before me was the largest platter of rice I’d ever seen. Looking at it, I knew I wouldn’t be able to eat all of it. The problem was I had been eating the same everyday! I couldn’t believe I ate something fit for three square meals in one sitting three times a day! Little wonder only two of my jeans fit and I have a hard time running up the stairs.
Well, it’s back to flat plates for me and I really hope I manage to shed all this unwanted fat. Jeez!
In other news, I just remembered a little joke told by one of my colleagues in my CADs Consulting days. One of the guys on the team got an NYSC posting to Zamfara State and we were giving him suggestions of ‘better’ places to serve in:
Two new corpers got posted to a very remote village in Cross River State. It had no running water, electricity or any of the more basic amenities. The guys reassured themselves that they’d be able to survive and if they couldn’t take things anymore, they’d head back to the camp at Calabar and establish their base in the city.
They had been urged in the strongest terms to head straight to the Chief’s hut as soon as they arrived so they did just that. To their consternation, he immediately ordered a town meeting because he wanted to show them to the villagers. They tried to dissuade him from drawing attention to them but he wouldn’t take no for an answer.
When everyone had gathered, the Chief placed the embarrassed corpers on a pedestal and announced:
“These people are government pikins. Look at their faces very well. Nobody should eat them or we’ll be in trouble with the government.”
An old, nearly toothless woman piped up:
“People from the town don’t even taste good. I ate one of them once.”
Biodun don’t be scared! 😆